


i wanna come home (to you)

by timedhappiness



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Coming of Age, Getting Together, Kang Taehyun is Bad at Feelings, Living Together, M/M, Pining, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, Whipped Kang Taehyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timedhappiness/pseuds/timedhappiness
Summary: His touch, Taehyun thinks, ought to burn.Instead, it warms him to the bone. Taehyun tries not to melt on the spot.Yeonjun doesn't seem to notice. Instead, he smooths his thumb against the heated skin of Taehyun's neck. Offers him a smile that Taehyun tries his absolute best to save: like a flower pressed between the pages of his favorite book, preserved with love and care."I'm here now, so you don't need to be afraid."/or: new boyfriends, taehyun and yeonjun, decide to live together. as they adjust to their new arrangement, taehyun reflects on all the ways, seasons, and years he's loved a certain choi yeonjun.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Jeon Jungkook, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45
Collections: TXT Secret Santa Fic Fest 2020





	i wanna come home (to you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [svnkissed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/svnkissed/gifts).



> tw: bullying, implied violence, foul language. 
> 
> prompt: au where taehyun and yeonjun are new boyfriends settling in their new apartment. 
> 
> so... this prompt definitely ran away from me. ; ; it took on a life of its own and definitely went beyond the sweet, simple prompt you had requested! i tried to pull it back in, but it was hopeless. it became such an animal, in fact, that i wasn't even able to finish it in time T_T (also a big f u @ life for playing a part in that as well). 
> 
> i will have the next 2 parts up within the next week or so, but hoping you'll still enjoy reading what i've written for you so far!
> 
> note: in sk, class semesters follow a march-july, august-february schedule.
> 
> please enjoy. ty ♡

**July** **30th, 2020**

  
  
  


"Live with me."

Yeonjun chokes on his orange juice and Beomgyu drops his croissant. The croissant-dropping was mostly for theatrics, Taehyun is pretty sure, but Yeonjun is — _actually_ — choking, so Kai jumps to his feet. He aggressively pounds Yeonjun's back as Taehyun offers the older boy a handful of napkins.

"Live with me," Taehyun repeats blankly. Yeonjun's face is red but at least he's stopped choking. Kai continues to pound his back regardless.

"Are you—" Yeonjun rasps out, voice ragged from the choking (and, probably, the pounding). "—serious?"

Taehyun holds his gaze. There's still a drop of orange juice caught at the corner of Yeonjun's lips and Taehyun fidgets, unsure if he should wipe it away himself. He shreds a napkin over his finished plate instead. 

"Do you…" he pauses, unsure for the first time. "Do you not want to live with me, hyung?"

Yeonjun drags the back of his hand across his mouth, his expression unreadable. Out of the corner of his eye, Taehyun can see Beomgyu and Kai exchanging glances. He crumples up what's left of the napkin in his hands. 

"That wasn't my question, Taehyun."

"Oh!" Kai says suddenly, too loudly. "Would you look at the time!" 

"Oh!" Beomgyu repeats, equally as loudly, the smile on his face wide and awkward. "I forgot! We have that thing, with that person, at that place. Sorry guys!"

They're a flurry of limbs and backpacks, Kai's laptop tucked under his armpit haphazardly, yelling something about _gotta skedaddle!!_ before the two escape. 

Yeonjun and Taehyun don't bother with goodbyes. They sit quietly across from each other, the quiet settling like dust around them, faint and light and everywhere. 

Taehyun can feel the change in the air and, staring down at the sad pile of massacred napkins in front of him, wonders if he should take his words back. 

"Do you want me to take it back?" he actually ventures aloud a beat later. "Should I say I was joking? We can drop it."

"Taehyun."

"I just thought…" Taehyun can hear Yeonjun get up but he stares purposefully at the dead napkins, instead. Yeonjun slides into the seat beside him, the booth's upholstery squeaking as he presses his thigh against his. He smells of his cologne (a birthday gift from Taehyun last year) and early summer (freshly cut grass and warm, warm sunshine). Taehyun swallows thickly. "I just thought it'd be the most logical answer to this situation, hyung."

And it was, wasn't it? 

Taehyun had always worked in facts and numbers and truths. It was what he was best at. 

Fact 1: Yeonjun hyung's roommates were moving out, post-graduation, and the space was simply too expensive for Yeonjun to afford alone. Finding a new lease would be a nightmare and impossible, especially considering that Yeonjun would only be here for one more semester before joining the other graduates, too. 

Fact 2: Kai would be leaving for his co-op in New York in ten days, leaving his room in Taehyun's flat empty for exactly one (1) semester. Taehyun couldn't imagine living with a stranger — and, besides, no normal, rational student would want to lease out for a single semester rather than the full school year, anyway.

These were the facts. 

Taehyun had weighed over them heavily for exactly seven (7) weeks — ever since Kai had announced he had been accepted for the New York internship, really — before bringing them out into the open, out loud. 

It had seemed like sound, foolproof logic. A natural conclusion, an easy answer. 

Now, he regrets ever bringing it up. 

"You need a place to live for a semester and I need a roommate for a semester. I thought we could catch two birds with one stone," Taehyun sighs. Finally slumps back into the booth, deflated. "I didn't mean to make things weird. I'm sorry—"

"Stop," Yeonjun cuts in abruptly. "Look at me."

Taehyun grimaces. 

Yeonjun presses a hand to Taehyun's thigh beneath the table, purposeful and determined. 

After a second too long, Taehyun finally turns his cheek. Lets his gaze fall somewhere between Yeonjun's stomach and chest. There's an orange juice stain at the very center of his shirt. Taehyun feels even worse. He reaches over carefully, pressing his thumb to the stain. 

"I'm sorry."

"Taehyun."

Taehyun caves. Glances up, letting his eyes meet Yeonjun's for the first time since he'd slid into the seat beside him. Yeonjun's face is — still — unreadable; the set to his mouth firm but his gaze impossibly gentle. 

"Taehyun," Yeonjun repeats, softer, now. "We've only been dating for five months. Do you still think your logic applies here?"

"But I've—" _loved you longer than that._ Taehyun swallows. Tries to stay open, tries to stay honest. Kind of. "Well, I've known you longer than that, hyung. I've known you forever. I don't think the timestamp on our relationship affects my reasoning. We might've only been dating for five months, but I've known you longer than anyone else in my life."

Yeonjun's gaze turns even gentler, still. 

"I think I could live with you, hyung. I want to live with you," Taehyun murmurs. Then, quietly, "Do you not want to live with me?"

Yeonjun's hand slides up from Taehyun's denim-clad thigh to his side. Drifts up and up until he can clasp Taehyun's nervous, fidgeting hands, covering them fully with his own. Holding them still; holding Taehyun steady. 

"I think… this is something we should think about. Carefully. I don't want you to regret this." 

Something like rejection sits bitter on Taehyun's tongue, and it must show on his face, as Yeonjun quickly follows up, squeezing his hands again. 

"Living with someone is totally different from dating them or being friends with them, Taehyun," Yeonjun slides his hand between Taehyun's fists, tangling his fingers with his, palm-to-palm, grounding and warm. Taehyun forces himself to hold Yeonjun's gaze. "You don't know how many times I've wanted to murder Jungkook hyung—and you know I'd trust him with my life any day."

"I don't think I'd ever want to murder you," Taehyun replies softly, hating how earnest he must sound. Yeonjun's mouth quirks at this, one corner lifting despite what must be his best efforts to stay serious and present. Taehyun gives his hand a squeeze, fingers slotting with his properly now. "I think we could make it work."

"Maybe," Yeonjun finally concedes, giving in to Taehyun and to the smile that had been brewing. His mouth is pink and Taehyun's certain it probably tastes like sugar and juice. Before he can lean in, though, Yeonjun squares his shoulders, determined to wrap up this conversation the right way. "So let's think about it."

Taehyun blinks, surprised.

"I — what? You want to think about it?" And then, before he can stop himself: "For how long?"

This time, Yeonjun laughs out loud. The sound is bright, ringing between Taehyun's ears in the very best way. 

"Let's say one week, kid," Yeonjun grins, leaning in to press himself more firmly to Taehyun's side. Taehyun taps his sneakered foot against Yeonjun's under the table. Yeonjun taps his back. "Let's sleep on it for one week. I'll keep looking for a place, you keep looking for a roommate. And then we'll see how we feel at the end of the week, okay?"

Taehyun leans in before Yeonjun can finish his sentence and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth eagerly. 

(He was right, as per usual. Yeonjun's mouth was all sugar and orange juice and _Yeonjun_.)

"Okay," he breathes into the kiss. "Okay."

  
  
  


/

  
  
  


**July 31st, 2015**

  
  
  


"Oh, honey. Your mother's waiting for you. Are you —" the older woman stops short, mid-sentence, eyes falling to do a quick one-over of the boy. 

Taehyun stands in front of her, expression blank. She seems resigned when she finally recovers from her initial shock, reaching over to carefully take his torn uniform blazer from his hands. He gives it up without a fight. 

He never fights.

They both pretend that she doesn't see the blood caked on the front, staining the school crest a dirty, muddy thing. 

"She's waiting for me?" Taehyun finally echoes, voice hollow. She nods, expression gentle. 

"You have guests."

She leaves him, like that, with his torn blazer tucked under her arm and Taehyun standing silently in front of his mother's study. 

The door to her office seems unbearably big and, not for the first time that day, Taehyun is reminded of just how horribly small he really is.

_What's wrong? I thought you were supposed to be so fucking smart! Why can't you solve your way outta this, you loser?_

Taehyun shivers just once before sucking in a breath and pushing the door open. 

(He's not sure what he had been expecting. 

His mother's face had been pinched with worry for the past two weeks straight, mouth twisted in discontent. Taehyun had come home with broken glasses exactly fifteen days ago and his English score had dropped two points. He wasn't sure which truth had been the more upsetting one for her. She had been quiet and pensive ever since. 

Taehyun had already been fitted for new glasses. Maybe she had invited over a new English tutor for him instead.)

"Oh, Taehyun, you're here. Come, dear. Sit." 

The guest is not an English tutor. 

The guest is not one but two and, as it turns out, they are familiar — but also not. 

Driver Choi, his father's chauffeur, sits to his mother's left, smiling nervously, clearly uncomfortable.

But he doesn't look nearly as uncomfortable as the boy sitting beside him. 

Taehyun moves robotically, limbs heavy, and wonders vaguely if he's moving underwater. 

The boy doesn't make eye contact as Taehyun crosses the room. He stares resolutely at the coffee table, instead. His legs are miles long and his hands look bigger than Taehyun's entire face. Long fingers fidget with a loose thread on his sweater vest and, his heart leaping into his throat, Taehyun realizes that the school crest on his vest belongs to the high school across town. 

The high school Taehyun will be joining in a month's time. 

The high school his mother had enrolled him in after he had come home with broken glasses and a cut across his cheek.

_Look at this loser. You wanna cry? Should we call your nanny?_

The AC is blasting too high and the study feels colder than the school rooftop last winter. The wind on the rooftop was always colder. Taehyun's cheeks would always feel painfully chapped whenever they pulled him up there, voices bitter and taunting. 

He had felt so small, back then.

He feels small now, too, standing in front of this boy with his long legs and big hands and unreadable expression.

He tries not to shiver again as he takes a seat beside his mother. 

"Taehyun, this is Yeonjun," his mother says, motioning towards the boy. "Driver Choi's son."

The boy looks up only after his father nudges him discreetly with his elbow. Taehyun doesn't know what to do with his hands when their eyes finally meet. 

His mouth is pink. 

Taehyun's brain short-circuits but no one seems to notice. 

"I hear you're being pushed through an accelerated program, Taehyun!" Driver Choi suddenly cuts in, expression apologetic as he nudges his son again. Taehyun nods numbly. "Your father told me how bright you are, but I hadn't realized you were already entering high school! Two years ahead, I see. You're only thirteen now?"

Thirteen and a half, is what Taehyun wants to say — but his brain still hasn't caught up with his mouth (Yeonjun's mouth is _pink_ ) — so he only nods, slowly. Stilted. Yeonjun stares at him, brows furrowed now, from across the coffee table. 

"Yeonjun is going to be a senior at your new school, Taehyun," his mother continues, her voice a faint, muted buzz in Taehyun's ears. "He's offered so kindly to show you around when you start this coming semester. Isn't that nice?"

_He's offered…_

Taehyun stops short at this, balking. Yeonjun's face was not one of someone who had _offered_ to do anything. _Look at this loser._ Yeonjun's stare was not one of someone who had just wanted to do something _nice_. 

Driver Choi's gaze turns soft, then. His face is broad and kind, illuminated by the afternoon sunlight that filters into his mother's office. Despite the sweat that dots his forehead, he seems to recognize the need for an interjection and, thankfully, begins to chat with Taehyun's mother instead, picking up the conversation where Taehyun had left it so rudely. 

Distantly, Taehyun can hear them talking about logistics. 

As his initial shock wears off and he begins to register that they're talking about him like a mother and a nanny, scheduling babysitting arrangements for a child incapable of helping himself, Taehyun wishes he could disappear. 

"What time are his classes? Does he have a full schedule yet?" 

Taehyun's gaze drops to his hands in his lap. There is a speck of dried blood on his shirt sleeve and Taehyun wishes he could melt into the floorboards. 

Being small had haunted him his entire life; being small had earned him a billboard-sized target on his back when he joined middle school with kids two heads taller than him. He had always hated it, with his full chest, but, now, Taehyun wonders why he couldn't be even smaller. Small enough to be invisible, small enough to disappear.

"What is his homeroom teacher's name? He can take the bus with Yeonjun."

"Oh, that won't be necessary," his mother titters quietly. 

Taehyun had always been driven to school by their other driver, Driver Lee. A younger man who had always been kind enough not to comment on Taehyun's red-rimmed eyes and would arrive as promptly as he could at the end of the day to spare Taehyun any time spent alone at the school's front gates. 

He had been a good man but, before he can stop himself, Taehyun makes up his mind and cuts in suddenly, voice too high. 

"Actually," he interrupts nervously, the first word he's said since entering the room. Yeonjun continues to stare at him from across that goddamn coffee table and something churns in Taehyun's belly. He tries to save that memory for later. Yeonjun's eyes on him. Yeonjun watching him. He tamps it down before he continues. "I… want to take the bus."

His mother's gaze is disapproving. 

Taehyun knows she's disappointed in him — for interrupting her, for not greeting Driver Choi properly, for letting his English score drop two points — but Taehyun can't stop now. Not when he's seen this boy. Not when he's felt his eyes on him. 

"I'll take the bus now."

"Taehyun, taking the bus is too dangerous," his mother begins, voice leaving no room for discussion. Taehyun doesn't want to shrink back, doesn't want to stop. Wishes he could fight, for once, just —

"I'll take care of him."

And _those_ are the first words Yeonjun has said since Taehyun's entered the room too. 

Taehyun's heart flips, over and over, as Yeonjun straightens up in his seat, shoulders as broad as a mountain and his mouth absolutely beautiful. The room doesn't feel nearly as cold anymore.

_I'll take care of him._

  
  
  


/

  
  
  


**August 7th, 2020**

  
  
  


After their makeshift deal at the diner — they both move forward. 

Yeonjun continues to search for an apartment, Taehyun finally posts an ad for a roommate on the campus community board.

That following Monday, Yeonjun is turned down by three realtors, his ideal budget too low and his bank account incapable of making the cut for the majority of the security deposits requested by the housing options in the university district. Taehyun presses kisses to his cheek afterwards and lets him nap on his lap that afternoon, fingers gentle in his hair. 

On Tuesday, Taehyun interviews a potential roommate after dinner. His application had been straightforward enough ( _male, 24, art major, i'm neat, i recycle_ ) and so Taehyun had had no issues bringing him in to look at the apartment. The art student unfortunately spends far too long staring at Taehyun's mouth and, after the entire tour, only asks if they'll be sharing one bathroom. 

("Good," he had breathed when Taehyun had confirmed that, yes, there was only one bathroom. Kai had ushered him out nervously, after that, as Yeonjun plotted murder from where he sat in the living room.)

On Wednesday, four more people apply for the apartment but Taehyun can't imagine living with any of them, so he does not bother bringing them by. He spends the day house-hunting with Yeonjun, instead, and nearly has an asthma attack after the seventh spot, which had come with ten flights of stairs and no elevator. 

Thursday doesn't go much better. It's the third time another potential applicant tries to ask Taehyun if he's single and ready to mingle and he thanks his lucky stars that Yeonjun is at dance practice. Kai buys him sympathy patbingsu afterwards. ( _"I'm sorry I'm so hard to replace, Taehyun-ah._ ) A large spoonful of red bean ends up slathered all over Kai's cheek and Taehyun, shamelessly spiteful, feels victorious. 

By the time Friday rolls around, Yeonjun and Taehyun are exhausted. 

Across the hall, Taehyun can hear Kai and Beomgyu singing along to some song in Kai's bedroom, the sound of muffled laughter coming out muted from the other side of the wall. 

Beomgyu was meant to help Kai pack. Taehyun's certain they aren't getting much done and he knows Kai will (definitely) regret it in the morning.

But, wrapped up in Yeonjun's arms in his own bed, Taehyun finds that he doesn't care. 

He buries his face into Yeonjun's chest and focuses on the sound of his heartbeat, instead. 

They lie like that until the sunlight fades, his room falling dark and quiet. 

"Taehyun," Yeonjun whispers into the darkness. 

Taehyun shifts, pulling back just enough to be able to look up at him, Yeonjun's profile illuminated by the streetlight outside the window. The tip of his nose is sharp but, even in the darkness, Taehyun can see the bruises under Yeonjun's eyes, weary and blue. 

He reaches up carefully, swiping his thumb over his cheek. 

"Yeah?"

Yeonjun's gaze is cloudy when it meets his. Taehyun recognizes the uncertainty there. Recognizes the confusion and the concern. 

He wishes Yeonjun would stop thinking. He wishes Yeonjun would stop worrying. He wishes…

"Do you think we should live together?"

Taehyun's breath catches in his throat. 

Yeonjun's grip tightens around his middle, though the uncertainty in his eyes remains the same.

"I know it hasn't been a full week yet, but —" 

"Yes!" Taehyun suddenly gasps, cutting him off. 

He pushes himself up and off of Yeonjun's chest, scrambling to sit up properly now, fists curling into the front of Yeonjun's shirt. "Yes, we should, hyung!"

Taehyun isn't sure if it's how loudly he'd replied or if it's how eager he clearly is — but, either way, Yeonjun bursts out laughing. 

The uncertainty in his face disappears and he simply laughs and laughs, reaching up to pull Taehyun back down by the arms, pressing him flat to his chest, nosing at his forehead and cheek as Taehyun tries anxiously to kiss his face all over. 

Yeonjun's laughter shakes the bed but, still, Taehyun does his best to plant his lips wherever he can reach. 

"Yes, yes, yes," he whines, pitchy and pleased. 

Yeonjun's laughter settles into a low rumble in his chest as he finally allows himself to lie still, letting Taehyun drag his mouth down his cheek and nose and jaw. 

"Love the enthusiasm, kid," he teases, pressing large hands to Taehyun's hips, as if rooting himself there. "But I have some ground rules that you should hear first."

Taehyun pauses, mid-kiss, his lips just barely grazing Yeonjun's pulse point under his jaw. 

When he pulls back, Yeonjun lets him. 

"Ground rules?" Taehyun stares at his boyfriend's tired, tired face. Yeonjun gives his hips a reassuring squeeze, his smile never wavering. Taehyun reaches up to trace his thumb over the curve of Yeonjun's pink mouth. The familiarity grounds him. His nerves aren't nearly as bad after that. Bravely, he continues. "What… are they?"

Yeonjun continues to smile, but Taehyun can feel the air shift. He tries to stay calm, keeps his nerves at bay. He knows that something very, very important is at stake. 

"First: we're splitting the rent even," Yeonjun states firmly. "I already know you're going to fight me on this, but I refuse to live with you if you aren't going to let me contribute, too. I know you shoulder most of the rent right now so that Kai won't have to worry about it but, if it's you and me, then I should be paying my half. Fair and square." 

"But — " Taehyun's words die in his throat as Yeonjun shakes his head. 

The actual cost of monthly rent had been an unspoken truth that only Yeonjun had been privy to, and even that had been purely by accident; his mother carelessly dropping a comment back home. Yeonjun's father commenting on what a nice boy Taehyun was. Yeonjun had been tight-lipped and stony when he had asked Taehyun about it last semester. 

( _You shouldn't be lying to him. Kai isn't a charity case, Taehyun._

 _I'm not treating him like one!_ )

Taehyun had never had the heart to tell Kai the actual cost of rent; not when he had such big dreams and two sisters to take care of. It had been easier to tell him that this was his mother's property, that they only had utilities to take care of and nothing else. It had been better that way. Taehyun had been certain of it.

(But, clearly, Yeonjun wasn't going to take no for an answer. Not now, not ever.)

"Second: we keep separate rooms. I'll use Kai's room, you'll keep yours."

This one Taehyun will definitely fight. He squirms in Yeonjun's arms. 

"You don't want to sleep with me?"

Yeonjun's ears turn as pink as his mouth, clearly startled by the sudden question, thrown off-kilter. Taehyun feels mildly victorious. He presses into Yeonjun more purposefully now, expression as blank as he can keep it. 

"You can't say things like that, Kang Taehyun!" Yeonjun sputters, losing his grip on the conversation for a split second too long. He recovers, much to Taehyun's disappointment, just as quickly. "I just meant that — I meant I'm not going to steal your personal space from you. I want you keep your space, so that I'm not taking over everything here."

"I wouldn't mind if you did," Taehyun replies, fingers soft under Yeonjun's chin. "If you took over everything, I mean. But I wouldn't mind if you slept with me too."

Yeonjun ignores him deliberately now.

"Third: we don't go to sleep angry. Ever," he grunts, arms tightening around Taehyun again, his ears less flushed but his cheeks still warm. Taehyun pauses at this. Yeonjun's expression is serious. "We're going to fight, Taehyun. But we have to talk it out. Every time. Okay?"

Taehyun can remember the last time they had fought. The only fight that Taehyun could ever remember experiencing with Yeonjun. 

He shudders at the memory. Yeonjun seems to feel it, arms steady at his waist, reminding him gently — tenderly — that everything would be okay.

"Okay," Taehyun breathes softly, the air in the room suddenly feeling more fragile than it had mere moments ago. The whiplash is severe and he feels winded and dizzy, but Yeonjun's arms are around him and he knows he doesn't need to be afraid. 

Not when he's here, not when he'll take care of him. 

"Okay," Yeonjun repeats after him, expression softening. "If you promise to agree to those three things, then I'm ready."

His eyes are shiny and bright and Taehyun finally — _finally_ — releases the breath he had been holding, launching himself forward until he can smother Yeonjun with his weight, burrowing in, nuzzling closer until his nose bumps against his. 

"I promise, I promise, I promise."

Yeonjun exhales shakily beneath him, half laughter and half relief, fingers warm against the small of Taehyun's back.

"Good," he breathes huskily. "Let's do this, then, Taehyun. Let's make this work."

  
  
  


/

  
  
  


**August 10th, 2015**

  
  
  


High school, Taehyun learns, is an entirely different animal from middle school. 

He's still two years younger than everyone in his class and he's still disturbingly small in comparison to everyone else in the halls, but that's where the similarities seem to end. 

Compared to his old middle school (that cold, cold rooftop), the building itself is enormous. His peers and the upperclassmen are even bigger, too. All of the students feel like the building itself: huge and hulking, faces stony when he's called on instead of them — when teachers linger a second too long on his name during roll call. 

He's famous, in the worst possible way probably. 

_Your father is a wonderful man._

_I heard you placed first in the nation for mathematics for the last three years?_

_So, so impressive. We're so pleased to have you with us._

But, to Taehyun's surprise, the unwanted fame comes with... very little attention. 

The boys in his class are huge — but no one calls him up to the rooftop. The girls in the row behind him snip and stare — but no one makes a comment. No one breaks his glasses. 

He is left, for the most part, entirely untouched. 

He spends the first two weeks of the semester in a stumped daze, trying to sift through the facts and observations he's gathered. 

Was this the benefit of attending school with older kids now? Were they more mature? Had his mother worried needlessly? 

Maybe Taehyun didn't need to disappear anymore. Maybe he didn't need to feel so small now. 

Maybe life was looking up after all. 

(Life was _definitely_ looking up after all. 

Taking the bus on the daily, every morning and every afternoon, with Yeonjun was a miracle in itself. Granted, they never said a word to each other. But Yeonjun would always make it a point to sit beside him. And then promptly fall asleep in under five minutes flat. 

Taehyun would sit with his backpack in his lap and watch him sleep out of the corner of his eye the entire way home.

It was Taehyun's favorite time of the day.)

Like that, Taehyun falls into a new rhythm. 

He lets the stares and glares roll off his back. He takes the bus with Yeonjun. He eats alone, outside, and picks at the grass until it's time to go back in. 

Life is simple and quiet. 

Life is… better. 

Until the first round of national rankings are released, anyway. 

The day had already started off as a mess. 

Yeonjun was home sick. Taehyun, worried, had taken the bus alone — and then had walked into the school building to find his name at the top of the two lists posted on the notice board. 

_Ranking #1, Seoul — Kang Taehyun_

_Ranking #1, National — Kang Taehyun_

Life had been getting better. Life had been simpler. But, somehow and someway, Taehyun could feel in the pit of his stomach that things were going to change very, very quickly. 

It reaches a head at the very end of the day. 

As he steps out, barely three paces past the school gates, two girls corner him. 

He doesn't recognize their faces — but he knows the two boys joining them, instead. They were from his class. Last row, the two desks closest to the door. One always smelt of cigarettes. The other always had a disheveled, wrinkled shirt.

_Cold rooftop, glasses thrown to the ground. Blood dripping down his cheek and his lips chapped and torn. The laughter deafening, all around him._

Taehyun had never bothered putting up a fight, then. 

And now, as these boys stare back at him — looking entirely too much like the kids he'd left behind on that old cement rooftop months ago — he wonders if history will simply repeat itself all over again. 

Familiar fear sinks to the bottom of Taehyun's stomach like a heavy, heavy stone. 

"Who the hell do you think you are, huh?" one girl starts, expression hard and angry as she presses a sharp finger into Taehyun's shoulder. Presses in, pushes him back. Taehyun stumbles back a step. 

"Know your place. I'm number one here. I've always been number one here," the other girl spits out next after her. "Who the hell do you think you are, coming to _our_ school. What, you were bored of your rich private school? Wanted to come here and ruin everyone else's lives instead?"

The boys behind them laugh, voices hoarse and rude. It sounds nothing like laughter to Taehyun's ears. It sounds like broken glass and a bleeding cheek, instead.

"Heejin, move. We'll teach him a lesson," the bigger one says. The who always smelt of cigarettes. 

"Yeah," snickers the other boy. His shirt is unbuttoned today, a black t-shirt underneath his sloppy button up. "Choi Yeonjun isn't here today. Let us take care of him —" 

(Taehyun had read once that scents were the strongest tie that could be associated with a memory.

When the scent of freshly cut grass and sunshine hits him first, he wonders if this is what he will remember for years and years to come.)

"Am I your friend?"

The voice is new. 

Hard and flat, it cuts through the air with purpose. 

The effect is immediate, much to Taehyun's surprise, as the boys immediately recoil, as if struck. Burned. The girls, too, seem to shrink in size. 

Less fiery. 

More afraid. 

Yeonjun rounds the corner of the school gates, face gaunt with exhaustion but his gaze alarmingly dark. 

"Am I your friend?" Yeonjun repeats, taking another step closer. "Say my name again. Like you just did. Choi Yeonjun. Sounded like we were real good friends, don't you think?"

"S-Sunbae, no, it's — this was just a misunderstanding," one of the boys stammers out, immediately straightening up, hands behind his back, standing with the utmost respect. The other boy is already folded in two, bowing deeply, shoulders shaking.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Yeonjun spits out, his voice like steel. 

He stares them in the face when they both finally straighten back up and they flinch at the eye contact. Yeonjun's mouth merely presses into an even thinner line, jaw set. Unforgiving. 

He reaches over to grab one of the straps of Taehyun's backpack and gives it a purposeful pull. Taehyun stumbles with it, teetering on unsteady feet as Yeonjun tucks him behind his back. Completely hidden out of view, now, Taehyun tries to catch his breath, his ears pulsing and muffled, as if filled with cotton balls and blood.

A few more words are shared but, Taehyun, for the life of him, cannot hear what is said. Cannot remember. Will not remember. 

He refuses to commit their voices to memory. 

Instead, he focuses on Yeonjun. On the smell of sunshine. On the broad expanse of Yeonjun's shoulders. 

He focuses for so long and so hard that he doesn't even realize when Yeonjun finally turns to face him. The kids are gone, by then. Taehyun isn't sure when they'd run away. 

He doesn't care though. 

Not when Yeonjun is looking at him. 

"Did they hurt you?" Yeonjun asks quietly, pressing a hand to the back of Taehyun's neck. His palm is warm. His gaze is even warmer, too, when his eyes finally meet his. 

Taehyun shakes his head slowly. 

"No," he whispers. Now that Yeonjun is facing him, he can see him in his entirety. An old hoodie swallows up his front, stretched loose at the neck. He's wearing slippers with no socks and his hair is matted at the back of his head. 

Clearly, he had been in bed. Clearly, he had been in a hurry. 

Taehyun realizes faintly that he ought to say something casual. Something easy. Something like: _I'm fine, it's okay_ — so that Yeonjun wouldn't need to feel obligated to rescue him again. 

But maybe he's just been too shaken up. Shaken up by the angry, resentful students. Shaken up by Yeonjun's sudden appearance. Shaken up by Yeonjun's eyes on him, directed at him, _looking_ at him for the first time since that day in his mother's study, his mouth pink and Taehyun's heart in his throat. 

In that moment, pride hurt and shame hot down his back, Taehyun finds himself incapable of lying. 

"I was just afraid."

Yeonjun seems to appreciate the honesty. 

He nods, the sun beginning to set just beyond the horizon, a wash of warm, orange light glowing behind his head. Even with his tired eyes and messy hair, Taehyun can't help but think that he's beautiful.

"I'm here now," Yeonjun replies, voice like gravel. It's rough and hoarse with sickness but it feels as warm as the sunlight pooling in the hollows of his collarbones now. 

"You're here now," Taehyun agrees, feeling unsteady on his feet. Yeonjun's palm doesn't move from its place at the back of Taehyun's neck. 

His touch, Taehyun thinks, ought to burn. 

Instead, it warms him to the bone. Taehyun tries not to melt on the spot. 

Yeonjun doesn't seem to notice. Instead, he smooths his thumb against the heated skin of Taehyun's neck. Offers him a smile that Taehyun tries his absolute best to save: like a flower pressed between the pages of his favorite book, preserved with love and care.

"I'm here now, so you don't need to be afraid."

  
  
  


/

  
  
  


**August 11th, 2020**

  
  
  


"Are you sure this is a good idea? You aren't scared at all?" 

Soobin sits, perched on the foot of Kai's bed, in a t-shirt that's clearly two sizes too big. Probably one of Jungkook hyung's old shirts. Taehyun thinks it looks nice. 

"What is there to be scared of?" Taehyun tosses back, his voice matter-of-fact. "I'm not having some stranger off the internet move in with me. It's just Yeonjun hyung."

Kai snorts behind them and Soobin wrinkles his nose. 

"But it's _Yeonjun_ hyung," Soobin stresses the name out, as if it'll change Taehyun's answer. As if it'll clue him in to some obvious, stark truth that everyone else seems to get but him. Taehyun is nonplussed. 

"I wish everyone would stop making such a big deal out of this," he sighs, straightening up after he finishes taping up the box in front of him. 

Kai's messy scrawl was on the top of the box, reading: _MISC STUFF!!!_

Taehyun's neater handwriting, blocky and even, was under it: _winter jackets, winter sweaters, snow globes (10)._

"We're just worried about you, Taehyun," Kai says easily, grabbing the box Taehyun had finished taping up, moving it to the other side of the room, where a pile of similar looking cardboard boxes were all waiting. "We don't want to see you get hurt, you know?"

Maybe this is what bothers Taehyun the most.

"I'm not going to get hurt," he replies flatly, leveling Soobin and Kai with an even stare. 

They exchange glances between themselves instead of replying. 

Taehyun throws his hands up, annoyed. 

"Will everyone stop assuming I'm going to fall apart after Yeonjun hyung moves in!"

"Not worried about you falling apart after he moves in, we're worried about you falling apart after he moves _out,_ " Soobin mutters under his breath. 

Taehyun's expression turns frigid. 

"What?"

Soobin sighs. 

Kai flops onto the bed beside him and reaches out for Taehyun's hands too. Taehyun juts his chin up and moves just out of reach, refusing to be pulled into their puppy pile before they answer him properly. 

Soobin sighs again.

"He's graduating this winter, Taehyun," Soobin replies quietly, in that soothing voice he usually only saves for his grandmother or Beomgyu when he feels particularly brittle some days. "Are you really going to be okay — living with him like this and then having to say goodbye?"

Taehyun knows what the unspoken question is here.

_You saw what I went through. Will you be okay?_

Jungkook hyung and Soobin had been together for as long as Taehyun had _known_ Soobin. From that very first moment, when Soobin had introduced himself as Taehyun's dormitory RA — and then promptly dropped everything in his arms when Taehyun recognized Jungkook's face on his cell phone background. 

They had been the first couple on Taehyun's radar. All loud laughs and library dates and shared dinners at the campus canteen. They were playful and sweet but not anywhere near as juvenile as the romances Taehyun's peers had gotten into in high school. 

No, they had been older. More mature. Soobin would make Jungkook hyung's dentist appointments and Jungkook hyung would always pop in, tools in hand, when their kitchen light was giving them trouble again. They had anniversaries. They knew each other's parents. They were comfortable — in their own skin. Together. 

_He still gives me butterflies_ , Soobin had assured Taehyun one day. _But it's... less of a tightrope walk over a huge cliff. More like when you're excited for the weekend after a long, tiring week. Still so excited. Just not afraid._

They had been That Couple on Taehyun's radar, unafraid and comfortable and warm.

And then they had broken up. 

Taehyun still remembers the exact day. 

Soobin, no longer Taehyun's RA but still a forever fixture in Taehyun's apartment suite, curled up on the bathroom floor. No tears in his eyes, but no words to share, either. 

_I don't want to go back to our apartment yet. It still feels like he's going to be there. I should give him time to pack up his things._

Taehyun lives and moves with facts and truths. 

And, back then, the facts had been indisputable. 

Jungkook hyung knew he'd be leaving to study abroad soon. They had lived together for exactly three months, to make the most of the time left to their names — and then they had chosen to say goodbye. 

Jungkook hyung hadn't wanted Soobin to wait for him. 

He didn't want him to be lonely. 

_Was it worth it, hyung?_ Taehyun had asked, then. Soobin hadn't answered him right away. Hadn't answered him ever actually. 

Taehyun isn't sure if that was something he'd ever really know the answer to.

Now, as Soobin stares at Taehyun, gaze all too knowing, Taehyun knows that he sees the facts for what they are now, too. 

Fact 3: Yeonjun hyung would be graduating at the end of the semester. He would join his hyungs at their dance studio, already accepted as a member of their contemporary dance movement. He would no longer be a student; he would be an adult, contributing to society, earning a paycheck, making a name for himself. 

Fact 4: Yeonjun was almost sick with excitement and would work himself into a tizzy whenever he'd talk about the studio. Taehyun also felt sick, but for entirely different reasons. 

Taehyun moves to sit on the floor, instead. Draws his knees up to his chest and exhales through his nose, the way Kai had taught him years ago. He counts to ten before continuing.

"I know it's going to be hard," Taehyun finally admits. "But… but I think this will be good for us. It'll make us stronger. It… might change things for the better."

_Was it worth it, hyung?_

Taehyun curls in on himself and tries not to remember Soobin's empty, tired gaze as he avoided his own apartment at all costs. Tries not to think of himself in that very same position, one semester from now, numb and alone, with memories of Yeonjun surrounding him everywhere he'd turn. 

It's a future he isn't prepared for. It's a future he doesn't think he'll ever be prepared for.

"What do you mean — change things for the better?" Kai squints, confused. 

Taehyun never gets to answer, because the front door slams open. The sounds of a rowdy Beomgyu and Yeonjun fill the apartment. 

"Honey, I'm home!" Yeonjun yells, barreling inside. 

His arms are loaded heavy with plastic bags and Beomgyu comes in after him, toting two large bottles of soda, too. 

"Time to eat, children!"

Kai whines, jumping to his feet. 

"No food in my room!"

" _My_ room now, young grasshopper," Yeonjun grins, dropping the takeout bags to the floor and then immediately joining them after. He plops down next to Taehyun, leans into his space, and puckers his lips at him. "Welcome back kiss, please."

Taehyun flushes pink, earlier uneasiness forgotten as he leans in to press a swift, soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

"Welcome back, hyung," he smiles as he pulls back, ignoring the groans and grumbles from their friends around them. _No PDA!!!_ Yeonjun hyung returns the smile, mouth pulled wide and eager. 

"I got them to give us extra pickled radishes, too," Yeonjun reports back proudly, smile never leaving his face. "I know you love them."

"I do," Taehyun agrees, scooting closer, knee bumping into his. Yeonjun's hand immediately drops to his thigh, giving him a warm, comforting squeeze. "Thank you for remembering."

"It's what boyfriends do," Yeonjun grins. "No, no. It's what _roommates_ do."

The next fact is undeniable. 

As predictable as the stomachache that strikes Taehyun like clockwork whenever Yeonjun gets a call from Jungkook hyung or Jimin hyung. 

As unmistakable as the brief look of worry that flashes in Soobin's face, still perched on Kai's bed, sitting just behind Yeonjun, where his eyes can't reach him:

Fact 5: Taehyun is truly and utterly fucked. 

  
  
  


/

  
  
  


**August 18th, 2015**

  
  
  


Taehyun spends the days following observing, as any rational, logical human being would. 

It had been the turning point, after all. Yeonjun, showing up to save him. Yeonjun, finally speaking to him without pretenses, without parents, without blood on Taehyun's shirt sleeve. 

Taehyun becomes fixated on _understanding_. 

He couldn't fathom why Yeonjun had shown up at all. He had learned, that evening that day, that Yeonjun had been so ill that he hadn't gotten out of bed all morning. Driver Choi had been rueful when he had reached over to adjust the lapels of Taehyun's school blazer.

_The boy hates admitting he's sick, is always trying to go see his friends or head to practice. It's been years since I saw him so dead on his feet._

Taehyun had been stunned speechless, frozen. Driver Choi hadn't noticed.

_I heard he came to get you, though. I'm glad you two are getting along. He's a good boy. He'll be good to you._

But why?

Taehyun, for the life of him, could not come up with a reasonable explanation in that moment, and so he stopped. He stopped fretting. Instead, he began to pay attention. 

Taehyun would observe how the other students on the bus in the morning would give Yeonjun a wide berth of space. He observed how Yeonjun never had to struggle to find a seat, because one would miraculously become available as soon as the bus pulled up to their stop. He observed how the boys and girls in his class continued to give Taehyun murderous looks but would never step within arm's reach of him; how he could _feel_ their resentment prickling at the nape of his neck but, yet, would never see them act on it ever again. 

Taehyun spends days poring over this information and, after a week goes by, he finally works up the courage to say anything at all. 

"Why is everyone afraid of you? 

He blurts it out, suddenly and without preamble.

He had been walking home from the bus stop with Yeonjun, then, and it's obvious that the outburst startles the upperclassman. 

"What?" Yeonjun replies, ineloquently. 

Taehyun flushes, embarrassed, but does his best to push forward regardless. 

"No one… no one bothers me at school," he says, voice shaky. "It's because of you, right?"

Yeonjun stops walking altogether. Pauses, head tilted as if he's considering Taehyun's hypothesis. Taehyun had spent days gathering information and data. He knows, now, that Yeonjun is popular in school. He knows that everyone seems to know his name. His conclusion has to be correct. 

"Eh. I guess," Yeonjun finally shrugs. Lifts an arm to scratch at the back of his neck, brow still furrowed. "But it's not 'cause people are afraid of _me._ They're afraid of my friends."

"Your… friends?" Taehyun frowns.

This was a variable he had not considered, one that he hadn't bothered to look into. He had been so consumed with wanting to know _Yeonjun_ — and only Yeonjun. It seemed that was all he was interested in these days. 

"What do you mean?"

"I have a few hyungs that everyone at school knows," Yeonjun clarifies, suddenly moving again. Taking another step, moving the conversation along. Taehyun struggles to keep up, feeling entirely like a squeaky, annoying mouse following after someone too cool for him. "They're older. They graduated already. They're… they're really good guys. I know them from dance. People respect them, at our school."

 _Our_ school. 

It's the first thing that Taehyun has ever shared with Yeonjun. The first time Yeonjun has ever indicated that they were sharing something together at all. 

"People are afraid of your friends, so they do what you tell them to do?"

Yeonjun nods, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

"Yep. No one wants to be on their bad side," his mouth quirks up into a strange smile. Not quite a grin, not quite a frown. "Which is total bull because none of my hyungs are scary anyway. My mom probably throws a meaner punch than the whole lot of them. People just like to talk."

Taehyun mulls over this. Tries to calm his racing mind, his racing heart. In a span of three minutes, Yeonjun had spoken more words to him than he had the entire month they had known each other combined. 

And then, quietly: "Did you tell them not to hurt me?"

Taehyun isn't sure where he conjures up the bravery. Isn't sure why he hasn't trembled into oblivion yet, fragile and delicate and small, something that everyone seemed so fixated on breaking. Something that Taehyun simply couldn't control. 

Yeonjun stops again, abruptly, in his tracks.

Taehyun didn't mean for it to come as such a shock. But he finds himself needing to know. Needing the facts, wanting the truth. 

Maybe if he knew the truth, then he'd be able to put all of this — whatever it is that he's been feeling — to rest. 

When Taehyun finally works up enough courage to peek up at Yeonjun again, he finds that Yeonjun has been staring right back at him. 

He squeaks and almost trips over his feet, even while standing perfectly still, and Yeonjun reaches out instinctively to grab him. 

He holds Taehyun steady. 

"Yes," he finally replies, expression so soft in a way that Taehyun, only thirteen (and a half!), cannot understand. "Everyone knows that they'll have to answer to me, if they touch you."

Taehyun feels as though someone has a fist around his heart. They're squeezing it mercilessly and so, when he answers, his words come out pained and breathless. Unlike the vise-grip around his heart, strangling the air out of his lungs, Yeonjun's grip around Taehyun's wrist is unbearably soft instead.

"And when you graduate? When you leave —"

_You don't need to be afraid._

"They won't hurt you then, either," Yeonjun cuts in gently. "I promise. I'm still going to visit, I'm still going to be around. I promise. As long as you want to attend this school, whether I'm here or not, no one will hurt you."

And then, in a voice that is as soft as his hold on Taehyun's bony wrist: 

"You haven't done anything wrong, kid. You don't deserve to be hurt just for being you."

  
  
  


/ 

  
  
  


**August 19th, 2020**

  
  
  


The next week passes in a blur.

Kai finishes packing up his room and moving everything out, kept for safe keeping in Taehyun's family storage unit. Yeonjun finishes bringing his things in the following day, Jimin hyung and Taehyung hyung tagging along, more for moral support than any real muscle. 

Beomgyu cries for two days straight after Kai's flight and Taehyun and Soobin take turns, rotating shifts to make sure that Beomgyu is eating, bathing, and sleeping. 

In fact, Taehyun is so wrapped up in tending to Beomgyu that it takes nearly a good week later for it to hit him. The moment of clarity hits when he finally steps into his apartment, bone-tired from grappling with Beomgyu again, only to find Yeonjun's shoes sitting harmlessly in the doorway. 

It's official. 

Yeonjun lives here, now. 

Yeonjun is here, now. 

Taehyun nearly falls over once in his haste to remove his shoes and then nearly falls over _again_ when he finds Yeonjun standing in the kitchen, humming over a pot on the stove. 

"Hyung!" 

Yeonjun spins around in surprise, tugging an earbud from his ear, startled. 

"Taehyun!" 

Taehyun isn't sure if he should laugh or cry as he shuffles towards him. Yeonjun's arms are open by the time he reaches him and his shirt is soft and he smells of laundry detergent and summertime. 

Taehyun falls into him and Yeonjun holds him steady, so sturdy from where he stands. A tree in Taehyun's kitchen — no, _their_ kitchen — that takes root so deeply that Taehyun knows the world could shatter and fall apart and, still, he would not be afraid. 

"Welcome home, baby," Yeonjun murmurs, breath fanning warm against Taehyun's cheek. Taehyun burrows in closer, face pressed into Yeonjun's neck.

Yeonjun lets him. 

Yeonjun lets him burrow and whine and curl into him. Yeonjun lets him stand like that for one minute that turns into five, that turns into ten. Even when Taehyun doesn't feel so brittle anymore, Yeonjun lets him cling to his side. Lets him shuffle with him to the stove to turn off the heat. Lets him cry, just a tiny bit, into the collar of his worn t-shirt. 

"Beomgyu's taking it really hard, yeah?" Yeonjun asks quietly, half an hour later, once Taehyun has finally settled down onto the couch, legs thrown over Yeonjun's lap as Yeonjun feeds him soup by hand. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

Taehyun, pulse finally lulled to a steady, rhythmic thump in his ears, shakes his head. 

"No," he whispers back. "He just misses Kai. He just needs time to miss Kai."

It goes unspoken that Beomgyu had only requested Taehyun and Soobin's presence. Yeonjun was his dance mentor, Beomgyu had reasoned quietly. _He shouldn't see me like this._

(Taehyun had understood, even if Soobin hadn't. 

He understood more than anyone else in this world.

There were some parts of him — some broken bits and pieces — that he didn't want Yeonjun to have to see. That he didn't want to share, just yet.)

Yeonjun doesn't press the issue any further. 

Instead, he offers another spoonful to Taehyun. Taehyun takes it without complaint, the broth warm down his throat, and tries not to shiver when Yeonjun offers him a praising smile. 

"I can't believe..." Taehyun finally says, once his heart stops fluttering in his chest. "I can't believe that you've already moved in days ago — but this is the first time we've had a meal together all week."

Yeonjun's grin is wry. He presses a glass of water to Taehyun's mouth next. 

"Beomgyu needed you," Yeonjun reasons, pleased when Taehyun sips the water obediently. His thumb rubs soothing circles into the small of Taehyun's back as he places the cup back down. "Besides, it gave me time to unpack and clean up. This place was a sty, Tae. You would've had a heart attack if you were here."

"Tell me about the move?" Taehyun asks softly, turning his chin up to look at Yeonjun. Yeonjun smiles back. 

"It was good. Already unpacked all of my clothes and stuff. Oh man, Jimin hyung got his thumb with a hammer while he was putting my barre back together," Yeonjun laughs and shakes his head, rolling his eyes. "Taehyung hyung rushed to help him and then got _his_ thumb with the same hammer, while trying to take it away from him."

Yeonjun's laugh feels like sunshine. Taehyun lets it wash over him until he feels sated and warm in his lap, belly full of soup, heart so, so soft.

"You're all moved in, then?"

Yeonjun nods again, arms tightening around Taehyun. 

"Yep. All moved in. It's official."

Taehyun gazes up at Yeonjun and Yeonjun stares right back at him. 

"It's official," Taehyun repeats breathily. And then, before he can stop himself: "I hope every day is like this."

Yeonjun raises a curious, teasing brow. 

"What? Eating leftovers in my lap after not seeing each other for days?"

Taehyun tries to kick him and misses, which comes as no surprise as Taehyun had had no intention of ever landing the kick anyway. He tries to burrow in closer instead, so that Yeonjun won't be able to see his face and tease. Yeonjun doesn't let him escape this time, though, and holds him still. Holds Taehyun's gaze, the smile never slipping from his face.

"You know what I mean," Taehyun mumbles, embarrassed, voice small. "I like… I liked when I came in and saw your shoes at the door. I like seeing you in the kitchen. I like eating with you after a long day. I like knowing that you're going to be here when I brush my teeth and when I fall asleep and when I wake up. I like… not having to say goodbye, anymore."

Yeonjun's teasing smile melts into something that Taehyun can only describe as tender. 

A beat passes, and then another. And then, finally, Yeonjun leans forward to press a soft kiss to the tip of Taehyun's nose. 

"Lucky for you, I like all of those things too," Yeonjun murmurs. "Which must mean the next few months are going to be awesome, yeah?"

"Yeah?" Taehyun, less embarrassed now, takes the bait, lets Yeonjun lead. "What makes you so sure about that?"

Yeonjun makes a show of furrowing his brows, as if deep in thought, pensive and playful. Taehyun works in facts and truths and logic, and Yeonjun loves him enough to indulge him, even now.

"Well, first of all, I own thirty pairs of shoes so my shoes will _always_ be at the door. Second, I love cooking, so you'll always see me looking like a snack in the kitchen —" he continues, even when Taehyun lets out a hiccup of a laugh in his lap. "I brush my teeth religiously so I'll always be there when you're brushing and —"

"I thought you were going to say something sweet!" Taehyun tries to complain, but he knows it's coming out unconvincing, the laughter in his voice unmistakable. Yeonjun merely grins back at him. 

"Something sweet? Like what?" 

This time, Yeonjun _actually_ indulges him.

This time, Yeonjun's voice is tender. 

"Something like… I can't wait to fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, too? Something like… I love that, no matter where I am, I know that when I think about _going home,_ I'm going to be thinking about coming back to _you_? Something sweet like that?"

Taehyun squirms in his grip, embarrassed again, for entirely different reasons, now. Yeonjun lets him. Yeonjun always lets him. 

"I can't wait for the next day, and the next day after that, and the next day after that one, too, Tae," Yeonjun murmurs, voice lowering even though it's only the two of them, here. Taehyun _loves_ that it's only the two of them here. "I'm going to be so good to you. We're going to be so good — together. Always together."

Taehyun lets himself have this moment. 

Lets himself believe in the truth in Yeonjun's words. 

_I like not having to say goodbye anymore._

Tries… to let himself live in this moment and not jump ahead, three, four, five months ahead, where he will inevitably have to see Yeonjun take his leave. Where he will fall apart, just as Beomgyu had, broken and crying and alone. 

(At least Beomgyu knew that Kai would be coming back. At least Beomgyu knew that it wasn't the end. Kai would be back by next semester and then it would be as if he had never, ever left.)

Taehyun thinks faintly of Soobin and wonders how he ever managed to say goodbye to Jungkook hyung. 

It wasn't even the first full day together in their apartment and, already, Taehyun could feel that Yeonjun had taken root in this space. His shoes in the hallway, his scent in the air, his record player crooning Dean's _Half Moon_ from the other room, muffled and soft. 

Taehyun wonders if this apartment will ever feel the same again, if Yeonjun is not in it. 

"What are you thinking about?" Yeonjun's voice draws him back in, draws him back close. 

Taehyun, feeling untethered and lost, lets the sound reel him back in. Tucks away the unwanted feelings and truths and inevitable facts waiting up ahead for him and tries to pack them in boxes, just as Kai had packed away his snow globes and winter coats. He wonders what he'd write on the boxes. He wonders what he'd ever label these feelings as or if there is even a word large enough to cover everything they encompass. 

Yeonjun's palm is soft against Taehyun's back. 

"Nothing," Taehyun whispers back, finally, voice unsteady. "I'm just… happy. I'm just happy, hyung."

Yeonjun's smile is so sincere that Taehyun's heart threatens to leap out of his chest. 

"Me too, Taehyun. Me too."

Taehyun's resolve solidifies, then. 

_What do you mean, change things for the better?_ Kai had asked the other week. 

Fact 6: Taehyun would do everything in his power for the next six months to show Yeonjun hyung that this was exactly where he needed to be. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ♡


End file.
